Counselling for Marriage
Marital problems have become a common issue in the modern day. A few generations back community support was available in helping families tide over problems. The absence of such a support in the modern day has given rise to many problems. According to the census of 2000 there are 5.5 million married couples in the US. And there were 21000 marriage therapists involved in providing counseling and guidance to help make these marriages work.
Methodology of marriage counseling
- It is of vital importance that a therapist first meets each partner individually. Only after he has studied the case the joint sessions should begin. This is a very sensitive issue. Couples often think of the expenditure involved in such separate sessions which are to be followed by joint sessions later. Here, the advent of the internet has facilitated matters much. Psychologists correspond with each of the partner individually by email and talk to them with the aid of web cams.
- Marriages often fail due to jealousy, anger, ego, arrogance and greed. These have to be brushed aside to ensure the success of a marriage. The first step in marriage therapy is thus to bring about a change in the attitude.
- Individual meetings are followed by joint sessions. Counseling for marriage works successfully only if both the partners are present in the sessions with the therapist. The couples have to face together the issues of life and marital problems like repetitive arguments, feelings of loneliness or emptiness, lack of proper physical relationship are to be dealt together.
Success of counseling for marriage
The success rate of counseling is quite high. Nearly 75% of the couples sort out their irresolvable problems with the help of the therapist. While those who try sorting out problems of their own are often not successful. The role played by a marriage therapist in issues of marital conflict is important in the sense that it restores balance and harmony not only among the married couples but also in the lives of all those involved.
Both the couples enjoy the benefits of counseling though the extent to which either partner benefits need not be the same. Usually couples facing emotional problems benefit the most. It is difficult to resolve problems based on financial or economic issues. A point to be remembered here is that emotional distress cannot be used to mean depression. Depression needs a doctors’ help.
The more emotionally distressed a partner is the more is the dissatisfaction with marital life. This dissatisfaction affects both the partners equally more so if the emotional distress is depression related. As is expected martial dissatisfaction is the maximum when both the couples suffer depression. It is very important for the marriage therapist to evaluate the mental health of both the partners before the beginning of counseling.
Choice of therapist
Troubled couples approach psychiatrists, psychologists or clinical social workers. And all of them are equally successful in providing effective marital therapy. But the selection of a good therapist is based upon individual judgment. A good therapist must be someone who is emotionally mature so that he can empathize with the problems and offer sound judgment. Above all a good therapist must be easily accessible, and who can be trusted to maintain confidentiality.